slowly, I am regaining my happiness. I have friends, many now, and my grades are getting decent, and I was finally regaining hope. Nothing extreme happened, but I still feel like shit. High school is this whole complex mess, that is confusing, and un-optional. I have no schools in my district, and my dad can't afford this private school I wanted to attend. I guess, I still feel... incomplete. I have friends, yes, but where ever I go, they wont be there. In this big swamp of high school, I know making friends is easy, but will they be the kind I want? I guess I still want popular card, I guess I want to be rich, I guess I want to be pretty. Although, they aren't guesses, I want all of those things. I want change, but it wont happen.
I wanted to be skinny, problem: I am so depressed , that I can't stop stuffing my face.
I wanted to change my hair, problem: my ex-best friend already died her hair, and it would be "copying." if I did it.
I wanted to have this successful book, problem: I change everything, and I end up hating everything about it.
I wanted to get boys to like me, problem: I am still ugly, fat, and un-popular.
I wanted to change my ways, problem: I can't get over what people think of me.
The point is, new years didn't change anything, I haven't changed anything, I am still same old, same old, me. #changemyways
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